Dear Peyton (Hillis),
I know we haven’t been in this relationship for very long, but I am growing more and more frustrated. The last 7 weeks have been really rough. After I picked you up mid season last year much to the dismay of the fellow members of my fantasy football league, you gave me that mid season surge that I needed to land in the playoffs…the move was genius…I knew not what I had done…little did I know you would have a break out season..I was infatuated with your running prowess.. Couldn’t wait to see the fantasy points you accumulated each week.. I quickly drafted you this year (my top running back selection..second round) right after Drew, of course. I long for those days…those days when I could count on you to rack up 20+ fantasy points on any given Sunday. I am growing impatient…Ahmad Bradshaw (the other back in my lineup) can’t keep carrying the load (plus the Giants are bye this week).
A few weeks ago, I was dazed and confused when week 3 left me with 0 points. I kept refreshing my computer… I thought something was wrong with the scoring; you were not listed as questionable, probable or any of those other catch phrases.. I suspected something was terribly wrong.…. While a strep throat can be nothing to sneeze at (but if you were sneezing, your sore throat was more likely viral in origin), I thought wow that must have been some sore throat to take you out…hot potato breath? Unable to control secretions? I thought perhaps you stepped on a rusty nail? In any event, unbeknownst to me you weren’t in the line up and I surrendered that week.
What next? Contract issues: Every one knows that your salary pales compared to other starting running backs (and for that matter those running back riding the bench) in the NFL. An issue best left for the end of the season. Hopefully, you will get your well deserved just dues. We realize the West Coast offense has left you will less touches. The Browns no doubt still rely on you…case in point, they asked you to play hurt for several series last week just for your blocking prowess because Hardesty was not doing the job… You do take a pounding.
And now what…a hamstring injury…A nagging injury to put it mildly. At least not a tear like you sustained a few years ago..Yet another obstacle to your season and our relationship.
It has been a tumultuous few weeks, but I am not giving up…No I am not going to drop you from my fantasy team like many a fickle manager…I am loyal to a fault (it took me until last week to drop Rex Grossman as a back up QB); while others jump ship, your fantasy stock falling. I know you still have the moves like Jagger; time heals all including a hamstring.
And lastly, dare I bring it up…the Madden curse? Folklore? I suspect so, but in any case, just to be on the safe side..
It is that time of year when one can easily find a cauldron at any corner store along with a plentiful supply of eye of newt, toe of frog, tongue of dog, sweat of Lebron (oh wait a minute, that might not help Cleveland) I suspect I will head out down to Georgetown, I think there is a establishment right next to the Exorcist house. I have a few hours to cook it up (right next to the chili) and let the concoction brew before kickoff.. Perhaps a nice frog poultice wrapped around your muscular thigh might help…may be too late for this week, looks like you are listed as questionable today. In any event, perhaps this ritual of the brewing of a magic potion may help to reverse the curse. It can’t hurt…I will need all the help I can get… With this tough bye week and a paucity of free agents, I am starting Hardesty today..
Smash Mouth Diva
Dedicated to my Yahoo Fantasy Football League: The Justice League of America